HE IS MINE AND I AM HIS,
TOGETHER WE ARE ONE
I started writing this post as a brief synopsis of all the dating ups and downs I’ve had prior to meeting Andrew. Then I realized, no, it’s not about those men that came before. It’s only about Andrew. Sure, those failed relationships taught me so much about who I was, what I wanted, and ultimately led me to my husband, but that’s all that needs to be said about them. Thank you, next.
Every girl has dreamed of that faceless man she will one day marry, the one waiting at the end of the aisle, the silhouette that can’t quite be deciphered. I was no different. I had no idea what he would look like, sound like, or act like. I didn’t know when or if I’d ever meet him, and if I did, how I would know that he was the faceless man. Truth be told, I almost missed him. Fear and scepticism initially clouded my perception of my soul mate.
SOUL MATE. Yeah, I said it.
I love to define things because it simplifies them and removes the pressure of added meaning. So here you go:
Soul Mate – a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
“Soul mate” is now often used by English speakers to describe those with whom our bonds of affection are marked by a strong sense of like-mindedness and intertwined affinities.
So you see, the meaning of soul mate has nothing to do with the belief that there is ONE person in the world that your soul is destined to meet and if you don’t meet him/her then you’ll be alone forever. There’s way too much pressure on that notion. I believe that we can find our soul mate; the person we love with every fibre of our being, who seamlessly complements us, who makes us want to go out of our way to bring them joy, and Andrew is mine.
You may or may not know that about a month before our wedding Andrew had a pulmonary embolism, which is a severely life-threatening thing to happen. I don’t think I’ll ever fully grasp the fact that I almost lost my husband before our lives together ever started. To say that it was a humbling experience is the understatement of the century. I will forever remember how fleeting life can be and how every moment we have together is absolutely precious. I think that this traumatic event really brought us closer and added an even deeper level of love and acknowledgment in our relationship. Though I would NEVER wish this on anyone, it definitely made us stronger and perhaps value each other even more. I will never forget that fear of losing the love of my life and the relief and gratitude I felt knowing that he would be okay.
We have just marked our first year of marriage and three years of being together and I am so happy I think my heart could burst.
Many people say that marriage is hard work and that the first year is the most challenging, but that could not have been farther from my experience. Our relationship is so easy, so effortless, so full of love. It never feels like work to me. Sure, we have had arguments and disagreements along the way, but I always know that we will come back together, find a compromise, and be stronger for it.
I think something that people don’t talk about enough is that whomever you marry or choose to spend the rest of your life with should truly be a partner. Of course the butterflies and the attraction are super important and I’m just as attracted to Andrew today as I was on the first day, but what I love and value most about him is that he is my partner. I never have to face anything alone. I have a constant supporter and voice of reason that always has my best interest at heart. Beyond that, I have a best friend. I genuinely check the clock to see when he’ll be home from work or count down the days until he comes home from work travel. I want to share everything with him.
Even though we are just a family of two (or three if you count our fur child) I wanted to take a moment to reflect and acknowledge everything that Andrew does for us. He works his ass off (I never curse so you know it must be serious lol). He puts in a ton of time at the office and he literally never complains. He does most of the cooking and is amazing at it. He makes sure we eat healthy meals even when I’m wishing we were having pasta! He kills all of the spiders. He lets Ruthie out when it’s raining. He plans romantic surprises STILL three years later. He lets me read with the light on when he’s trying to go to sleep. He poses for my Instagram pictures and gives me feedback on my edits. He lets me navigate my ever-changing career landscape. He shows me love and affection every single day. He never leaves the house without a kiss and an “I love you”. He takes me on adventures. He is always bettering himself. He pushes me and helps me grow. He loves me for me, no questions asked.
I am SO blessed, lucky, fortunate, privileged, grateful – you name it. I will always be amazed and thankful that my soul found his soul. I believe that a love like this is rare and I hope and pray that everyone has a chance to experience this at some point in his or her life.
Cheers to finding YOUR soul mate or loving the one you have already found.